Friday, September 7, 2007

Now I'm really fucking pissed...

So, I'm heated right now... I've made the decision to move out of my house and rent a 1 bedroom or studio apartment. However, since my name is legally bound to the house (to help my mom out with her bad credit, Chelle, Jenni, and myself all put our names on the house to help refinance the home) I'm still legally obligated to pay the mortgage even if I don't live there! This is fucking bullshit!

I can't believe the altruistic thing I did is now being used against me! There is no way I can pay two rents at the same time. I just don't have that kind of savings to back something like that up... And NOBODY is going to pay $700 a month to live there and not have full use of a kitchen. I can't believe my family would use my name on the title against me. And they say it's my responsibility to find a tenant to replace me.

Now, legally, I see their logic. But you have to understand that the only reason I signed those papers was definitely not for any personal gain - who wants a 1/4 of a house anyway? The reason was to help out my family: my mother, who was on financial hard times. I even ALWAYS lend my family money when they need it. Just last month, they borrowed a total of $1,700. And even while they are still paying me back, they have the nerve to throw this in my face: that finding a tenant to replace me and paying the mortgage if I don't is my responsibility, whether or not I give a 30 day notice.

I'm at a loss. Not only are my cats not allowed to run around, but I might have to give them up to a home where they can - they don't deserve the quality of life that I'm offering to them right now. But the cats are not the problem. It's the principle that my mother thinks it's okay to toy with my life by taking away what I love.

I remember the time she broke my viola bow over her knee and made me quit viola, or how about the time when she tried to give Toasty away without telling me? All my life, she's been a manipulative tyrant who forced me to do things through threatening the things that I've loved. Do you remember the time she told me she wouldn't talk to me anymore if I moved in with Jay? Then there was that time when she disowned me...

I'm tired of having my family's love be conditional. And this whole legal mortgage thing is definitely the straw that broke the camel's back. For as long as I live, I'm not letting anyone borrow any money anymore. Apparently, that gesture of supporting each other financially does not go the other way around. There's only one choice left:

I need to talk to my lawyer friends and see what I need to do to get my name off this legal document. Then, I need to move so I can seperate myself from ever being manipulated by them again. After all, for $200 more a month, I could find a place for my kitties, not have to deal with people yelling all the time and have a quiet, stress-free place to call my own.

God? Why do I always have to endure trying situations? I know you want me to be strong, but how strong do I really have to be?

1 comment:

Daniel said...

I'm very sorry to hear that you're going through this family situation. I certainly applaud you for the financial support you've been giving your family. It's unfortunate how money exploits all virtue. The whole nature of monetary exchanges is impersonal, self-serving and exploitive. As a result, it's extremely dangerous to mix blood with currency.

I hope that your friends can offer you some great legal advice. It definitely sounds like you need to move away from your family. Maybe it'll create a situation that will allow you to (maybe) financially support your family ON YOUR TERMS, NOT THEIRS. That way it'll be completely voluntary instead of compliant.