A New Challenger Appears!

I had a great and not so great time in LA, but more on that later.

Right now, I have to tell you about a guy I met. I just really like him. I think he's adorable. I respect him. I'm shy when I'm around him. He's sexy and mild - all at the same time. His kisses are perfect - even better than Chris 2.0's. He knows when to kiss sweetly and when to kiss passionately, all at the appropriate times. He lets me walk on the inside of the street. He runs around and opens my car door for me. He lets me know that he thinks I'm beautiful whenever the thought crosses his mind. He's so intelligent, especially in the ways in which I am not. We have similar interests - martial arts, video games, good food. He takes care of himself - physically and mentally. He's young in heart and spirit. His body is amazing. His skin is smooth and he has the perfect back - his strong shoulders taper into the sexiest waist and torso I've ever touched. He has deep-set eyes that reflect youth and freshness. His jaw and lips are so model perfect that they could be used in print work. You would never guess his age just by looking at him. He has that sexy surfer look - hair down to his chin in layers, a little wavy and flipped up in the back. I actually get lost in his eyes sometimes.

He's sweet and dorky. I like how he gets excited about his gadgets. I like how he gets excited about what he's doing at work. He has great stories, and I love how we're so open with each other. When we walk home together after dinner, he reaches to hold my hand. We can just sit there together and be totally silent and comfortable. He told me he loves waking up next to me. He waits for me to finish teaching so we can go eat dinner together. Last night, I wanted nothing more in the world to fall asleep next to him, with my head on his shoulder - my body right up against his. I love the way he rubs my neck and shoulders and then kisses me right behind my ear. I like how he listens to me and then acts on it. I feel like I don't have to lower my expectations to be with him - I feel like he rises to the occasion. Oftentimes, I feel like throwing caution to the wind and climbing into his lap, straddling him, and making out with him. He turns me on that much.

He makes me feel so much, but at the same time, I am terrified. I am terrified that, ultimately, I am a rebound. I'm terrified that I'm not what he really wants. I'm terrified that I'm too young for him. I'm terrified I'll fall too fast, or not at all. I'm terrified that I'm transitory. I'm terrified that I'm so terrified that I might not move forward and pre-emptively end the relationship before it has a chance to start.

But instinctually, I want him, and I want to experience being with him. In fact, I can see him smiling in my head right now.