Boyfriend

Yup, I have one... and I guess I should write down all the details before I forget them! :P hehehe

SP texted me from Boston the night after the breakup (Monday) asking if we could talk. So, I called him. He asked me if we could talk in person that Thursday. I was stunned. I was so sure I would never hear from him again - I even told him to keep the coupon book I left at his place in order to avoid the awkward situation of seeing him again. I had already told all my friends and family what had happened and had spent the day very depressed. The idea that he wanted to meet again not only enraged me, but also confused me. After all, he was so cold and callous the night we broke up. Against my better judegment, I agreed to meeting him to talk. I spent the rest of the week sorting out what I would say to him.

Basically, I came up with an ultimatum: You've known me for almost a month; you've seen me 11 times out of 26 days - you've had more than enough information on me to make a decision on whether or not you want me to be your girlfriend. I don't kiss or have sex with my friends. So, step up to the plate - we're either together or not at all. Needing more time to decide is permissible after maybe 3 or 4 dates, but we've seen each other almost every other day for the past 3 weeks.

Fast forward to Thursday... SP and I are sitting in the park where we went stargazing. At this point, I had several days to heal from the breakup and could see myself perfectly fine without him. I had realized that I was more than he could have hoped for, versus me being inadequate for his needs.

I asked him what he called me out here for. Naturally, I was cold and distant. He told me that he had made a mistake, and after thinking it over, he did think of me as more than a friend with benefits. In fact, he wanted me to be his g/f! I was stunned (once again :P) Not only did he take all the wind out of my sails, but he also left me speechless.

Still wanting to act cold and disinterested, I asked him what he expected by coming here and telling me all of this. He said, "Two things: One, you would say yes to being my g/f, and we would continue to get to know one another - that would be the best possible outcome. And two, even though I would prefer the former, that even if you walk away from here and we never see each other again that you know that I think you're an amazing, intelligent, beautiful person." And then, his eyes got red and started to water a little, and he said, "I think that would really be a shame if you didn't know that that's what I think of you." I knew then that I had to overcome my own hurt to be there for him - with him.

The pain in his eyes knowing I could walk away mirrored my own pain. And that moment will be forever emblazoned in my mind. I will always remember us sitting on that park bench with the sun starting to set behind us and seeing his eyes. They were so full of hurt and apology and hope and sincerity. I knew I had to give us a second chance. Who knows? Maybe we could buy a new vase after all... :)