Existence

We've all heard the old philosophical question that if a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound? I now pose this question, if you're too concerned with others opinions of you that you are afraid to be the true you, then does the true you even really exist?

I'd say no. I believe there is no way for the true you to have taken part in any discussion or event. Therefore, the true you had absolutely no impact on whatever you perceivably took part in.

When you disguise yourself from being seen, then you won't be seen. It's that simple. For people who hide from others around them everyday, whether it be behind masks or lies or even designer clothes and expensive cars, they build a barrier between the world and themselves. Once the barrier is set in place, it is very difficult to tear down the walls and present one's true self. Because of this, it is easier to keep lying, keep wearing the mask, and to keep spending money for clothes and cars to impress people.

The thing about people is that they do not like to degrade. And more than that, they do not like to disappoint. These two factors together are a lethal combination and completely applicable to those who put up barriers:

Let's say Mr. X is dating a new girl. He shows off his money and acts extra attentive to gain her interest. Let's assume that the way he is presenting himself is not the true Mr. X at work. In this scenario, he is wearing a mask with the goal of impressing this girl.

Now, once he's won her affection, how easy do you think it is for him to stop this forced behavior and revert to his true self? Mr. X might think inside of his head that if he does show the true him that the image he has created for himself will DEGRADE (Strike 1) because he will no longer be upholding the status quo that he created for himself in the beginning of the relationship.

The other thought crossing Mr. X's mind will be that if the girl sees that he is not the rich, well-mannered man she thought he was, then she will be DISAPPOINTED (Strike 2) and leave him. So you see, the one-two punch of degradation and disappointment is a serious threat. It's so scary to face, in fact, that many will keep the ruse going just to avoid having to deal with it.

However, we all know that lies beget lies, and those lies beget even more lies. At what point are you ever your true self anymore? At what point does juggling all the masks and images you present to the world become so unwieldy that you feel that degradation and disappointment for all is the better option? Will one ever feel that way?

It's very cyclical, and it's incredibly hard to stop without intervention or simply a dead stop at rock bottom. Why be your true self when it would degrade your image and disappoint your audience? It's so much easier to keep up the ruse, even at the cost of your true identity.

This all makes so much sense - except for one small detail... How do you know you would disappoint your audience by being the true you? You have no way of knowing whether they would be happy or unhappy with the true you. By believing that you would disappoint them, you are unfairly taking away their ability to decide for themselves. You do not have the right to do so.

So, look at this again: Mr. X can revert to his true self and DEGRADE his image. However, keep in mind that degradation is a natural aspect of life that we all must deal with, whether it's aging or otherwise. However, Mr. X should not feel that he will DISAPPOINT, as he has no way of making that decision for others. This makes it a bit easier to avoid our "lethal duo".

Or better yet, Mr. X can go ahead and be his true self from the beginning, knowing that he is being the best version of himself that he knows how to be. And if that's not good enough, other people can just go fuck themselves ;)